It was not all a dream…
It all began about 3 days ago. I was having this intense fear about everything. I didn’t want to leave my room, my house, or my car. It was the strangest thing, because if you know anything about me I love hanging out with people and going on adventures. It was daunting knowing that I was leaving for Haiti in such a short time. This fear was crippling and I had no idea why. On top of that, what seems to be an ongoing cold I have had just kept getting worse and I was super weak. It wasn’t until yesterday that I finally realized why these negative physical and emotional occurrences were happening.
Yesterday I woke up around 9:30 and went to see my mom, she was flashing me her boarding pass for our trip to Haiti. She was so excited and told me to go check in for my flight. As a semi experienced traveler I thought ‘I can do that later, it never really makes a difference’, but just because she was beaming with excitement I decided to oblige. I pulled up the check in page on Delta only to remember I needed my passport to complete the process. So I got up and walked into my room headed towards my essential document…it was at that moment I stood in my doorway thinking ‘hmmm I actually have no idea where my passport is’. This was strange considering I like to have my passport somewhere where I can see it all the time because I like to look at it :) I know I’m weird. But anyway, that is when the panic set in.
I had no idea where it could be. I began to tear apart my bedroom. No bag, drawer, or sock went unturned. After I ripped my room apart my mom retraced my steps exactly, and then some. She looked everywhere. It was 1:00pm by the time we agreed it was GONE. If I thought I was panicked before, boy was I wrong. Losing a passport and not realizing it’s gone until less than a day before your international flight, is not a dream…it’s kind of a nightmare.
We began looking online what the process was to get a passport quickly, everything we read and heard was at the very least a 5 day process, if not two weeks. We called the passport place in Minneapolis and they explained that it may be possible to obtain a new passport the same day but not super likely. We decided to try, and pray. The earliest appointment wasn’t until today at 10:30am…my flight was at 6:30am. So we got in touch with an operator that was able to schedule me for the last appointment of the day 2:30 yesterday. It was 1:10.
My mom and I jumped in the car and raced down to the heart of Minneapolis. Praying, and thinking, and processing what it all meant, ‘was I not supposed to go, were we under spiritual attack, am I just super unreliable’ ;) you get the gist… So we get there and I get checked in. We got there a little early, and the guy (Eric) saw me within 5 minutes (it may have been less time then that even, but it felt like forever). He checked all of my applications, gave me a little crap for not pulling out my passport sooner, and told me he was optimistic about getting it done but couldn’t guarantee anything. My mom told him “we have people praying so we believe it will get done!”. His response was “if prayers make computers work faster, great!” And my mom and I both grinned and reassured him that our God was bigger than computers. He then explained to me that my passport photo that I brought was outdated and I needed to go take a new one and be back in less than a half an hour. We drove quickly to the post office, which was closed. Then headed over to the IDS building where Fed Ex got me my photos! Thank goodness my mom came with me because she was a fast get away car.
We get back to the building, give Eric my photo, he explains again it may not be possible, and we sit. And wait. And wait. Finally, a guy comes over and calls my name, he was holding a blue envelope and he began to pull documents out and there it was. A new, shiny, passport. I think I was in shock, I think I still am. What felt like forever.... was 45 minutes. The entire process once we walked in those doors took 45 minutes. Thank you Eric. God is good.
While I was waiting for my passport, after praying all day that God would do it. That He would show up. That He would just fix it. I had an extremely obvious epiphany. ‘Whoa, God let your will be done here. Passport or no passport. Let the glory be to you God not matter what the outcome. If Haiti is where you want me this week you’ll make it happen. If not, you have a better plan than I do. Always.
The crippling fear, the worsening sickness, the loss of a passport. GONE. My God is bigger than ALL of those things and in His will is the perfect place to be. I am typing this blog as I sit in a chair 30,000 ft in the sky flying to Haiti. There was hardly a moment yesterday that I imagined I would be here. God has a plan, clearly. Let’s see what He does this week, I for one CAN NOT wait :) No fears, only Joy. Amen.
